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Recommendations for men contracting a marriage with a Russian woman with a kid

Getting used to one another is a time consuming process. Children are used to their definite role in an initial family and they take their new state painfully. Time, if it is filled with love and understanding, cures any wounds.

1. Don’t rush things. Be ready for demonstration of anger, jealousy and competition, but know that it won’t last forever if you arm yourself with patience.
2. Let children of your Russian wife express their feelings. Understand and value their emotions instead of saying that they shouldn’t experience such feelings.
3. Don’t demand from a child to call you a daddy immediately. For them it’s an overcoming of inner barrier.
4. Don’t be ashamed of expressing warm feelings to your wife in a presence of children, let them see how happy you are. But don’t overdo with this, don’t let children become witnesses of your private life. One must draw the line somewhere.
5. Organize collective walking holidays, walks, celebrations. Establish as many new traditions for a new family as possible. Allocate for every child their own space and define a distinct circle of family duties.
6. Treat every child in a new family equally, don’t distinguish your own children. They have to know that they are loved and valued but that they shouldn’t manipulate their parents by biasing them against one another.
7. Respect children's love for their full-blooded parent. Don’t speak badly about them, don’t make them choose. In the first instance there will be this full-blooded parent who will have to call his children to order if they resist.
8. Step-fathers bringing-up children should apply soft methods of upbringing influence, having necessarily discussed the problem about these methods with a partner.

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